Okay so I've got this sick, disgusting thing eating away at me from the inside, and it just gets worse all the time. Why is it that this one freak of nature can somehow manage to warp this thing I love to do into an obsession and an insecurity? Why does he have to want to do everything I do? WHY CAN'T I EVER WIN??? WHY DOES IT MATTER THAT I DO!?!??!?!?! ARGH!!!