Orginizing my biology folder I left all my math stuff at home. my grades I think are going up. I'm turning in missing stuff for photo and geometry, I'm making the effort to know how to do it. I delveloped a really cute picture of landen. It fits his personality. I really like it. and it isnt too light or dark or grey. I kind of ignored him today. not knowing it-but sorta. because Aubree came over. she never really comes over any more! and it was exciting! We watched this old nsync video. I never knew how corrupting they really are. badddd. but it was nice to see their nice faces again. and it was soo great hanging out with my bree. but landen just slept on the couch. I talked to him a little bit while aubree used the little girl's room. he said something like"now you notice me" or something. mmm. but...I dunno. The both of them are my friends! and I care a lot about both. I dunno... Landen was cute today after the whole freak accident of falling over my couch. he came crawling to the corner peaking his face into the kitchen and batting his eyelahses. *sigh* what a dink. Diary, I'm scared and confused again. and not...myself. and I feel icky and un healthy. I mean, I really care about him, but maybe not in that way anymore. and I mean, I know he must be going through the same thing. we don't really talk much. except insulting eachother. I liked it like last week or so. when he came over and took pictures with me. and we didnt cuddle or kiss or even hold hands...okay...I did that...I think...but! It's like habit. but I liked just hanging out with him and not trying to impress him. That's the hunky landen I would like to know. not the ...oh I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. Here we go again. I really want to step out of this depressing cycle. like be friends with landen. I mean! oh gosh, we alreayd friends. he's like one of my best friends. but...I mean be friends... oh doy. um...yes anyways. Still high from my date on saturday. It was just so much. I felt like a princess. sorta...well, yes I was really happy. and I felt so much like myself it was scary. And I could actually talk to skooter like I talk to my friends. not like with matt or spencer. because...I was too scared I would say something stupid. but Skooter! he's a loser too! so...I fit in great. I mean that in the nicest way possible. Tonight was young womens. It was combined with the young men. battle of the sexes. the boys won. can you believe it. just because I slowed it down because I was having too much fun shaving my face. well...too much fun with the cream. I watched beau peterson paint his nails. guys are really retarted at twisting an elastic or painint their nails. It's like they have this ability to turn their hands in a certain way. A young man leader dude told me to go on a date with a buff man. so we can go bike riding and when my tire goes flat he can pump it up really fast. rar! Now, I'll just sit back and listen to my enya and beat myself for forgetting my homework and hoping for the best.