lame! mmmmk, so... I was super late for band after lunch break and uncle pat wouldnt take me to band, so I drove me and dee back to sky view. I know... a total irrisposible thing to do. but, i wasnt in the mood. I was leading for some of my pit when the moms showed up. lame. and I got yelled at by both of them. especially by my aunt, which I really hated because I hate being bossed around by other people's parents. I get enough of it from my parents...thanks! so I was super mad when she piped up "say good bye to your licience for a year!" they left, I was in tears... the whole pit watched... then finaly in the middle of leading them I just screamed. gah...I was so mad. so...it was myfault...let my own mother punish me! gah... but, I felt better after a lot of hugs and playing the death out of my cymbol. mmm. I got a few cute glances ( I was prolly imagining ) from a cute drummer boy... yeah...so I felt better. when I got home stan goes "so I heared you pulled a ron weasley!" haha! go superdad! he's proud of my rebelious side! yeah... so I went to caspers today, actually excited to peek in the windows and try to find the cute boy i work with...but he wasnt working today. lame. and I spilt icecream all over me. got yelled at in the car. sassed right back. today mum told me I need to have a better attitude. which I totaly agree with. its just...these few days. this summer. after efy ended... well! its my journal ! gah. with aunt yelling at me to shut up...in my own house. lame. and i skipped my peroide! and...gah. the pit. I just wish we were unified. like I wasntincharge, that they wouldnt need a leader. all be together. but, i t wont work. and then...I havent seen my best friend really all summer because she's been too busy. and I really didnt earn anymoney,a nd I worked a whole lot. and the fact that my confidence is now going out the window. its sad that boys make you feel that way. I cant actually talked to guys i like anymore. because I'm scared to death that they're all the same lame boys that run away from me. I need to find someone with a sense of humor. sheesh... and I like this kid...but im too lame to talk to him. so...grrr... and...I just need toget my act together. a good cry. some depressing music followed my efy music and a nice hug. and the positive thought that maybe If I talked to the boy, he'd pay attention to me. but, the boy at work! he's way cute... and I was acutally twitterpated for the first time since last month. oh, im hopeless. I really dont want anything to happen with these boys...because I'm scared to life since last march. havent kissed anyone (and theres no one worth giving my lovely lips to) since febuary. but! I'm starting skating on thursday! how exciting! i need to stay positive...mmm... mum showed methis picture of a mormon add that said "be positive" man...she's even telling me to be positive... I need a good cry and a punching bag mmmmmm....