I was pretty excited to be home a lone all day. I was going to go to em's house yestorday, but I fell asleep during FHE and didnt wake up till midnight. I'm sorry! um, slept a lot today. at some food. ice cream! talked to some people. Derek kept calling to see if stan was home. heh. that's about it. I was going to go to the movie, but i have young womens at 5. brr, its going to be cold. everyone is sad. I think In all my friends entries it sads "that makes me sad" that makes me sad. Sara and me never play anymore. it's sad. we barly talk anymore. eveytime I see her Derek wraps his arms around her and says "mine!" yeah, she was mine first. :( so, I sit here listening to Jingle Bell Rock. haha! yay fun! I dont feel good...ha. I'm feeling pretty happy though. It's sad...this whole Em and LAnden thing. lame is a word I use for it. They both love me until they love eachother again. growl. well, they have fun with that. making out. or whatever they do. I'll stay in my state of naiveness and shyness and stare at the boys from a distance. ohh!! speaking of that! good story! At PTC bro lowe was telling my mom that I was a really good girl and stuff, it made me so happy! He said I was a good influence in the class and stuff. and that all the boys love me. which isnt true, only one boy likes me in there...and It kinda makes me sad. I can't make him happy. and I don't like it when he hangs around me. so I ignore him...and he gets sad and doesnt talk to anyone. growl. anyhoo. I saw spencer outside bro low's window and said "oh, spencer maughn..." and bro low goes "is that your boyfriend?" "I wish..." "you wish!? did you hear that mom?!" then spencer walked in and bro low says to him "do you know kirsten?" "yes, I know Kiwi!" blalalaldjakljdlkajdka sigh... but it was nice. spence told bro low they call me kiwi because I remind them of a kiwi. bro low laughed...then looked at me...then at spencer...then back at me...mumble something and left. so I left. yes...it was nice. then...all my teachers ragged on me a bit! but! i got a C+ in chem! no d-! yayayayYYAYAYDJKFALKJDASKJFDLK!! but in DE I have a D+... falslev said I was a good girl. he said "look at her smile, how can you resist that?" oy... bedont told me mom i was a rude, disruptive, mean girl. told me he'd give me another fair chance at wind ensamble. YAY! I love merciful teachers. erm yeah... He said practice hard and he'll put me on line. and the lessons will help me a lot. so, I'm happy I love the weather, its cold and wet...dreary. I want to go running, but I'm too lazy right now. must have more icecream. tomorrow is colby's b-day. and Chris's surgery. I hope he does all right, I hope they get rid of the cancer. I hope he survives. hope is all we have. please be better. I miss him. I didnt see him this summer at all. I miss him calling me honey and hugging me. and telling me how bad young women are these days...and I'd fight back and say we're better than he thinks. I miss his kids too, timmy and Gary. named after my daddy and uncle. ahhman, they're fun. except when they hit me with pool noodles... and make the dog attack me. or...make me be a target or something. but tim is in alaska now. and gary will be going on a mission in another year. ahhhhh. anyways... I'm cold I got my new new era. so I'll read that. I hope everyone gets feeling better. sigh me and sara need to go out for hot cocoa. but I'm broke. so...maybe... make some hot stuff. maybe I'll bring her some soup I wish I could drive, I'm too lazy to walk. jingle bell rock.