Today I feel really good. I love Sunday you know. It was pretty good. I got up around 9:30 and did my personal time. then stomped my way up the stairs...dodging the crazy cat and almost falling down the stairs in the process. Then I ate some cerial and watched some tv (I'm great at keeping this day holy!) Then showered and blow dryed my hair. put on some beauty magnifyers (It's alwasy good to get as much help as I can!) then curled my hair in ringlets and got dressed. my family is hilarious. Ali didn't want to go. mum was mad. stan was ignoring us (smart move) as we bickered. preston took his little time getting to the chapel doors. he couldnt find the perfect coat hook. WE had talks about compassion. I imediatly felt guilty for pushing preston. ha. after church was alright. slept and ate. did my thang...you know. mmm...and learning more about this butt-lovely life everyday. Bedont taught me that there are now barlines. no measures. the peice of paper is not music...the music is inside of us. I loved that day. he was waving the paper in derek's face. I was lauging. we were happy. I miss him so. man oh man...If the rest of the bands really think we're gonig to be like stupid mountain crest...ha...it's laughable. we're soaring, I'm flying. and this really is going to be the best season yet! I'm so glad it's senior year. Never before have I felt so determined to beat so many people. and I'm so glad the seniors are leaving. man oh man! I'm so glad they'll be gone. stupid...well, of course I'll miss a few. but I'm glad it's up to us now. the ones who really did love him. I want to make him proud. man oh man. I read the letter I wrote to him and decided I need to write another. I will never forget how much love her shared with me. the love of something so very important to me. more than a boy...or even my family sometimes (I'm horrible I know) but...music has been there for me. This is not the end... only the beginning. I need a taina hug like no other. I want him to be back. I'm still going through shock. it hasn't hit me yet. I guess our first concert it will come to me. he would alwayswink. we had something special. only man who told me I could. or else, the only man I listened to. when it comes to music, he believeS in me! and right now I don't really care If I'm not as good as landen or jake. I'd prolly drive myself crazy if I was. no...I'm just kir. I've been telling my mom all the moments. yeyes....man oh man...I miss him like...badly.mmm...