mmm...oh sweet diary...so public...aren't you jealous? You really don't know anything, do you? oh, how I wish I could write in you like my other, fill you with my secrets...my so many secrets. Last day of band camp...mmm... It was the hardest week of my life. I'm sure there are a lot more harder times ahead, but this was tuff. I guess what doesnt kill me only makes me stronger. well, it wasn't that bad. I did have a lot of fun in between the outbrakes of tears and screaming... wow...but I'm not complaining, I worked hard for my spot. Even though right now I'm feeling like I really...don't deserve it...well...I mean malcolm didn't even have to try out... man oh man... I usually do get the end of the deal when it comes to drumline...whatever. no time to be stupid and feeling bad for myself. darn, I wish my printer was working... man oh man... I came home...I forgot how much I didn't miss Alicia...man oh man I wish I liked my sister. but I was so excited to see my mom! I was so jealous when marci and cydne's moms came...man oh man I cried right there. I walked in and she said I had just missed Swifty. he came and cleaned our carpets haha...he even cleaned my room. He left me a note on my bed. "kirsten, hope you enjoy your new clean carpet, hope you are enjoying band, hope to see you soon. Love, swifty" haha... Then...I watched steal magnolias in my room and bawled some more. I'm sick I tell ya. but, yeah...band camp was a blast...sure. I had a lot of fun and we all finaly got in the lake...lucky lucky ducks, I like ducks, I wish I were a duck. naaa...I won't go into detail. mmm man oh man oh feaking man. I have a date tomorrow with malcolm! woooo!! he finaly asked me out...its about time. he annoyed me so bad at band camp. I guess...thinking about it I am his only friend really on the line other than kaylee and landen... but whatever. we made a goal that we would be able to flirt iwth people we don't know in the band. I guess he succeeded because the nikki colorguard girl seems to be pretty smitten with him. But, I don't blame her much, he is...well...amazing. He finaly realized that I like to do things myself, my way. but, yes...this will be a very interesting season. I need to practice. I'm so tired. Derek called and wanted to do something but by the way I answered the phone he decided against it. He said I needed to go to bed right then. yeah, that was 3 hours ago. mmmmmmmm... surround myself with positive things. mmmmmm, sleep till forever...