I think I should go to church instead. man oh man. I kissed his hand that was on my shoulder and ran. "will I ever be able to speak at all" This song always reminded me of him. We used to talk about it. His church and mine. After Ben he told me he understood the atonement so much more now. He told me I could never go to parties, he wouldn't allow it. And then I would beat him up! I can't be. ok,I want to go home now. I'm not going to go to the site. I'll watch it on tv. I want to go, I want to go to church. I rather go to church. I should have gone earlier. too late now. I want to talk to scott.