Dear Diary, Have you ever felt, like you just want to cry? Or just lay on the floor and look at the cieling without thoughts seeping into your mind? well, of course you don't. You're just some silly diary I write in to keep myself sane and entertaned. but, Diary, something good happened tonight. I talked to my friend. A friend I havent talked to in a long time. oh, I wanted to hug him and never let go. but, you know, you can't do that over the phone. Diary, I had a splendid day today. from a bridal shower to seeing my cousin I havent talked to in 2 years, to talking to my best friend. and then him calling me. School is out, no more worries of that, but other worries will set it, of course. Band. Bedont said over playing the ballad we all feel skanky and dirty. oh great, with our hormones raging...haha, maybe some boy in the drumline ( you know, that certain one) will take notice to me this year. Speaking of boys... Bree had her 2 date last night! ohh, that girl! she's beautiful. I'm so blessed to have her as a friend. wow. um, nothing is going on with me and anyboy. I think a boy may like me, until he goes for another girl. Me and Special Ed decided to not have anything. which is good, you know. but, we easily could go at it. But, I worry it would be so intense. well, we are getting married (haha) so...there's plenty of time for him. I just want to be kissed this summer, a summer love. Landon/Kevin told me he'd be my boyfriend anyday. I started to like him, and He doesnt like me. well, that's alright. Found out he's younger than me anyways. but he did seem pretty good at the job of boyfriend...even fling material. LDS, he was a good lil boy in seminary. He would always go up after me. His eyes shine. and he has a motocycle(hot!) and he's a swimmer so he has the hottest bod. (that's shallow of me) but, it's nice. He's a lifeguard...haha...It's like Mitch from baywatch. Except Landon isnt hair and old and sleeping with hot 20 year olds. well, I don't think any boy really really likes me enought to...you know. but i don't want anything right now. I mean, why would a guy want to be with me more than a day? the last one, Diary, told me I annoyed him...and that attracted him to me. or maybe I just twisted those words up in my mind? Oh, Diary, maybe I'm just being a hopeless Romantic Drama-queen. Teenage Girl. well, theres truth in that one. Bro. Moore told me any guy would be lucky to marry me. what else did he say...? I'm thinking now. well, Diary, he better be good. I'm waiting for him, I'm staying good for him. I'm staying clean for him. I'm saving my kisses for boys I really really like. I'm not getting into any intense relationships. I'm trying to be good. But, what if he ends up a dud? What if the guy I'm destined for ends up beating me? Would God really let that happen? or, maybe I have too much Faith in myself and him? *sigh* Right now I can't really seeing myself being with anyone. no no nothanks. well... diary... night. love, the kiwi