The convo with Landen ended with a "fine...I'll just kill myself and make you happy" It usually ends like that when we fight... I had a nice night tonight. or...really last night. I went to bree's and talked to her for a while. oh! how I've missed my best friend. then me and Katie hung out, which sorta turned into a date at the end of the night. hm... I'm not used to a guy opening the door for me. (it's been so long that I acutally let landen. Or anyone for that matter) the four of us went up Smithfield Canyon and made smores. We talked about all sorts of stuff. oh, before that...I rode up there with this kid named Derek. He goes to Logan High. we talked and I found out he's in percussion too. I was totaly excited when I found out he can't play the set either. I was like "yeeha! I'm not alone in this world." I told him about Landen's awesome drumset and how it would be a waist of money if my parents ever bought me a drumset. He agreed on that one. we laughed and listened to oldies music. THEN we went up there and caught up with Katie and Chris. then, we made smores. and talked about missionaries and everything. It was sooosoosoo NICE to talk without drama. drama...drama...drama... Katie was hungry and I had to pee...so we left. we went back to Katie's house and peed. then left for town. we drove around and finaly stopped at Beto's. then they took me home. I was surprised When Derek got out of the car. he actually walked me to my door. ahhh*gasp* he talked for a bit and shook hands. like matt said "that was awkard..." oh WAIT i didnt hug this date... heh. haha, yes. he said we need to do it again soon. he was way cool. I liked his facial hair. I came back home and started worrying about landen again. I'm like a mother. ahh! I'm only 16! it's not humanly possible to be the mother of another 16 year old!! I remebered telling him that when he gets a new girlfriend she will prolly hate me. well...This girl is keeping that promise. I'll just be the normal clingy flirtatious whiney girl that landen knows best. Drive his new misses crazy. hey! It's what I do best. ha. I thought of calling him tomorrow morning. yes, acutally getting up before i have to, to talk to him... that's love. just to talk to him. see what's going on. but I figured he wouldnt want to talk to me since what happened tonight (last night) but, like I told my mom. I need to have an opinion. and I do. and when I'm mad...I do need to express it. I remeber learning that in seminary. hey, when Jesus was upset... well, Jesus is perfect. okay... anyways... I just know that landen needed to hear my opinion. because...I would be lying if he didnt know. So...derek and sara finally kissed. reading that made me miss...stuff so bad. hey, being with someone is great. and knowing someone cares about you is great... *sighs* but, I've turned back into my old self. "I don't believe in love" but, I do have to remeber what dallan told me. I can't give up on love... oh, baby, he's out there "I'm just not going to kiss a bunch of losers to find him" "hey, but kissing those losers can be a lot of fun!" oh... everywhere I turn there's people...together. there's sara and derek landen and ...that chicka he's with... resa and Caleb blaablaaablaa... but! I did have a date tonight! AND I have one next week. four dates next week. scccccooooooreee! love is in the air sick.