LALALA! oh man. Conference Weekend, it was pretty good. except I missed the cool talk about young women because of the comp. that's alright, I'm planning on printing it off soon anyways. good day. I was sick, threw up a few times *erlack* but, Aubers came over and suddenly I'm feeling so much better, it's amazing what a friend can do. She has the light about her, I love her so. we talked about our weeks and everything. our plans for the future. we decided we'll go to Ohio and be workers at Belle Bons lip gloss. Then we decided while we're down there to be food testers. THEN! Bree came up with a fantastic idea! To be lip tasters for boys! how fantastic aye? we'll put on the lip gloss and kiss the boys...then they're decided if it interfers with the kissing, or tastes good or what not. fantastic! I loved this day despite its many challenges. perfect days like these. Today...I found out my cousin Chris might have cancer. I don't want him to go. we're going to do all we can so he wont have it. the test is the 5th. I'm scared. Will he make it? no one really has had it. The though my aunt tammy had it. but...she ended up not. It strengthes the family so much though when we all do what we can for them. I love my family. so...hoping he gets better. please Pray for him. there was a moment today where I just sat on the floor resting my head and arms on the toilet seat and bawled. I hate being sick. I hate feeling lost and of no worth. then one of my favorite songs came on the radio. "I know my redeemer lives" It was like a warm blanket covering me. What comfort! I still sat there and sobbed, but for different reasons. I love this church and gospel with all my myness. It's cool to think... I'm merely just a spirit having a human experience. "the door is opened wide. I step into the light, he says he loves me and he holds me tight. I cry outloud, I have been lost but now I'm found..." I love the talks. how the youth are so strong these days. we have to be. we must! Like the strippling warriors! my favorite book of mormon story. I'm thankful I was raised in the church. Thankful for my free agency and choices. I decide who I am. "our mothers always taught us we should never doubt...if we are true and faithfull we will conquor all, our god is with us, he will fight beside us." teehee! I want to go on a mission. be the light, be an example of truth. Spence mouthed "I love you too" "I wont, I'm mormon" I decide...wow...I decide.