So, I'm home for 4 months. Wow, I just don't know what to do with myself. I really just don't know. I can't even think. Matt's been gone for almost 2 weeks now. He wrote me already and told me how much he loves being a missionary. I love Christmas time. A time to think about Christ. I have realized how much I took for granted a lot of things. Being in Rexburg with a lot of people who never had members in their schools. I hope I'm not like the rest of the members of my church that people hate. the "Utah Mormon". Man oh man. Going to school up there was extremely humbling for me. :) I love life because with everything I go through I have the oppurtunity to change who I am for the better. Maybe by the time I'm 90 I'll have this life figured out. I have merely just begun. I discovered I had a crush on a boy the last week up there. Well, I guess you could say we had a little fling. He held my hand for a minute. haha. I haven't held someone's hand in such a long time. We also cuddled in my closet, but then he stabbed me and steph in the back and left me heartbroken and dead. (you'd have to be there) I'm realizing how important touch is and how abused it is, too. It's beautiful. I hate how touch is distorted and turned into this lustful thing. Wow... Right now I really have no idea where I'm going in life. I have one goal and that's to get back to RExburg. yikes. It's just different now and it will be for a while. It's never really goodbye. Hey, the future is bright! keep moving forward! Somehow my life always works out for the better. Here we go again.