wootya, waiting for my mom to come home. waiting to see that black car drive past my house. secretly wishing he'd slow down just to look. hmmm, my fantasy world... Zach is always bringing up Matt in seminary class, so the whole class knows. which means he knows...which means I'm at the same basses as Megan. mmm. well, whatever. I was telling mom last night that Matt Cook has to be the most perfect guy out there, he's seminary counsel, nice to me, a good guy, virgin lipped, he's built, is hilarious, ect ect. then mom added "If he were perfect he'd love you" oh...sigh. well, that ruined it for me. my theory- you think you'll end up with the guy, you never will. Always cancel yourself out. wah. plus, the single Kirsten....well, anyways. Today I discovered Andy Murri really would do a lot of things for me. then that crooked-wicked smile spread across my face ( i was staring at the cieling at this point) uh huuu He stole a starfish charm for me...how...romantic...eh..well, it was just lying there in the penny jar in 3rd hour. "someday we'll know why the sky is blue... why I wasnt meant for you..." oh, sad day. Murri was sitting in at my table and I sat on the table and rubbed his hair and said "hey fat head." I don't know why my words come out! they just do! what else am I supposed to say?! "hey hottie..." no, I said 'love' to him who I call everyone and a huge...I mean BIG smile spread. like whoa... so then he just looked up at me and got out of my seat. gosh...fat head?? oh, and then...I go on with my science talk "well, actually 60% of your brain IS fat..." ohmygoodness... well, hey, phagocytosis and lysogenic viruses caught matt's attentiong...by andy's...calling him love. eh... well, anyways. I had the devo today in seminary. I just felt it so much today during that five minutes I was up there. after singing the opening song "joseph smith's first prayer" I just wanted to talk about him. I walked timidly up there. self conscience about everything. Everything going through my mind. my bad band audition, smelling like hot sweat, landon and rachel- when five minutes earlier he mouthed "i love you" sO I walked up there and raised my head a little and smiled sweetly at Landen. mmm:) and explained abou thte song and looked down at my borrowed book and read verse 16 or 17 out of the joseph smith- at history. and chocked on my words. ohh. for the first time really feeling something in that 'awkward' class (says landon) It was nice. right now I'm listening to my walk to remeber soundtrack. I rather listen to "things i'll never say" but I don't have it. sigh, mommy wont take me shopping. and I dont want to go with emy and Kace. I'm so bad. I want to go with mommy. but...mommy doesnt want to go. gah... I have a concert tonight. my last one. sad and scary I should text you see if you come. that would be soo super cool. :)