I don't even want to talk about it. I held it all in until he took me home. I cried. I almost threw up. I feel very sick. First, he told me what he felt before we got to church. I was in a daze almost in shock maybe. I don't hardly remember everything. I remember looking at him from the choir and him smiling at me like "Please, I don't want to hurt you." We had to stay like two hours after and get lectured about our music. Was basically screwed over. It was 10:00 when we got out of there. Me, Cliff and Zack and Tabitha went to Chili's to just talk and scream and yell about it all. And we sure did. But still, I was in a daze. He said at the table, he likes me and stuff. I was so confused it hurt my body. I finally got in the car and I spit it out. "Cliff, I understand everything. And I agree. But, I'm confused. Don't think I'm childish please, but I know no other way of asking this...Do you or don't you like me?" He said "I know you're confused. I never meant to lead you on like that. I do like you, so much. But there's so much wrong, we just cant date. Alma, I'm so sorry." And I said "It's fine." And I went home. Walked in the door and just stood there and cried. He went to the gym, and it's now 1:15. He IMed me and I said I needed to talk still. I told him, I did understand everything he said and that logically, it's right. But, I can't help but think, you can't ever have anything amazing if you don't ever give anything a chance. And he said the biggest factor was the age difference. And I told him, I know, and I'm sorry. I told him, I wasn't telling him this to change his mind because I heard what he said in the car, but I wanted him to know how I felt. Things are actually going good. We're talking everything out. And I am not persuading him into anything. But he actually said, he wants to try to work things out between us. He said like by going slow because he does want us to be together. But I said "Cliff, I'm all for that, but I need to know you are. Because yeah, it will take some time, and I can't keep you waiting forever. It's not fair." We'll see how it goes. Tonight was overall just not a good night. But I'm glad I'm telling him all of this. I feel so much better that I told him what I think. I have a feeling I may be up a little longer too. I'm already going on 4 hours of sleep here.