Well, after we got off the phone, which was before my last entry, i didn't text him. Then, around 8 he texted and said "Sorry, i just really wanted you there, but yea, can you just make sure to come over during break?" I said yea, and he said "If you can't i will be upset, but it's fine." I just said "Well it won't be fine, but i said i would try." Then he said we'd talk about it later. The only reason he wants me to come over is so we can have sex without anyone walking in on us.

I think the reason i like him soo much is because he likes to do what i like to get. Like, he doesn't mind rubbing my arms, my back or feet, legs. And he likes really weird stuff that i like. Like when we have sex, sometimes i like for him to be really aggressive and be really rough. I'm a freak. I like it rough, i like really weird things, and most guys are too pussy for that stuff i think? I'm not sure, i know that Alex isn't, and TC's friends arent either but i dont talk to other guys about sex, so i wouldnt really know. Maybe all guys like doing freaky stuff with their girlfriends. And i can be my complete self around him. My selfish self. My kid self. My angry bitch self. Every mood i have, i can have around him and it doesnt make him think different of me or like me less. Some things are perfect, but on the other hand, things are far from perfect.

There's a lot to vent out, and maybe i need to talk to him. But i've tried talking to him about the sex thing before and he just gets mad and tells me he's never touching me again. I wish he could control himself! Goshhh. I need to gather my words, my thoughts.

Every night we fall asleep together on the phone. We've done that since we like started dating. Tonight, i really wanna fall asleep alone to my iPod. I used to do that during the summer when he was away and it always calmed me down and helped me relax and get my thoughts together before i fell asleep. Maybe i'll just slip my iPod on after he falls asleep andwe say goodnight.

Sigh, i'm off to bed pretty soon. Work tomorrow at 11.

G'night