I would've wrote sooner, but I've been in a state of shock ever since Tuesday when Cliff finally came over. I knew it would happen. I knew something would change. Came over, and I knew something was wrong. We went over to Starbucks, and he broke it to me. Said he got a job offer back in Tennessee, that he'd be dumb not to take. Said we should just be friends now. But that when he comes back from his job after 5-6 months, he'd want to get back with me. I stopped him there and told him he wouldn't come back. After being there with his friends and family for that long, he wouldn't come back here to nobody. Asked him how it would be possible to be down there with his ex-girlfriend around and not want to date her again. He said "No..I dunno, I don't think I'd date her again." I didn't go to school the next day. Mama took me out. But that night we went out after church, and we just talked about things. But we're just friends. It's been like 5 days since this all happened, but I've cried everyday about it. Or randomly, when I see something that reminds me of us. Actually, today he called and we hung out. But I don't know how to be just his friend. I don't even wanna think about what it will be like at church. I knew this would happen. I've been like out of it. I'm in this daze and I can't pay attention to anything anyone says to me. All I think about is what I could've done to keep us together....or if I could've said something. Part of me wants to wait until he comes back. Which won't be until next summer really because he's leaving in the fall. But working all summer out of town we won't be together...I want to wait for him, he means that much. But I know he won't come home. ]= I had a feeling it would happen sooner or later because of his job. I just didn't think this soon. -sigh- Hanging out today wasn't as awkward as I thought. Maybe we will stay friends. I wish I knew how to turn off such a good relationship like ours like he can. He doesn't even seem affected... ]= I don't understand it, but I'll hang onto our "friendship" and hope that when he comes back and his work cools down, we'll be together again. ]= This time was different felt like I was just a victim And it cut me like a knife when you walked outta my life Now I'm in this condition and I've got all the symptoms Of a girl with a broken heart but no matter what You'll never see me cry