its been raining since like monday. and i usually hate rain, but its like slowed my mood down and relaxed me a lot. even though today was like very crazy busy. had class from 9-1050. work 11-2. school 235-450. then had to run back to work for my paycheck, went by the bank. finally i have enough money to pay all my credit off!

josh is kind of bumming me out :( its been 9 months. he doesnt buy me anything but food. its not because he is broke. he always has money. but he spends it all on his car. and he says its because hes never had money to spend on his car and now he does. i dont understand how that is okay. its totally getting me burnt out on us. all my friends boyfriends of all ages, they go and surprise my friends, buy them gifts. i dont even have a fucking teddy bear. really? im not all about materialistic things, but come on. he never shows me any love through money. its just food...i dont know what his problem is. i feel like..i go out of my way to love him, to understand him, to know him. and i have to constantly tell him things he should know about me just because im his girlfriend. thats sad. the effort is definitely one sided. and thats my side. not his. its been 9 months, and im still trying to figure out his legit feelings. hes so weird. i dont know what to do about it.

anyways, school is great. it really is. my group of friends is kayla, hailey, and christian. im almost done with part A and then ill be on part B. college is cool too. i have a pretty good time.

i have heart burn. im on my period.

its late, watching criminal minds. without my babe tonight.

goodnight.