Okay, so Saturday, I hung out with Josh and told TC i couldnt hang out with him because of that and he got all really pissed off and was like "I can't do this"..blah blah and then was like "I'm gonna go get laid." And i was like "what the fuck ever..." And we didn't talk for the rest of that day and Sunday or Monday...And i was so fine with that. I was happy. I thought maybe it was over. And then, on the 1st, which i think was monday, me and josh talked about all this stuff cuz i was really doubting some things and then we talked and it was mainly cuz he asked me when we would ne official. And then we became like official boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever. And i was as excited as i thought i'd be, but i think its just because of how the situation is..Anyways, then i woke up the next morning and i was excited about it. And then i went to work and TC called me and i didnt answer, and he was saying stuff like this "I hate myself, i regret everything more than anything now, I'm sorry i made you go through all that shit..I'm sorry i was 2nd best and never talked to your mom." And i was like how the fuck did he find all that out. So, i'm kinda pissed i trusted someone with that and they told. I'm not sorry he knows, but i'm sorry he found out, i mean, thats harsh, and i know hes probably really hurt...Anyways, so now i'm all bummed out, but i talked to sarah and she's right. She was like "If tc had been good to me i wouldve NEVER noticed josh.." And thats so true. I mean, its the hard truth though. I feel bad it all happened this way. But i mean, i'm okay.

I'm actually getting more relieved im with josh for real now. We're official. And he's still so sweet to me. I'm lucky.

I need to go back to the gym. Get my mind off of things. Get toned up again. Working out makes me more calm and not so tense. I need to do things other than sit around all the time. I'd go before josh got off work too. So, yeah.

I gotta go for now, I'm in college classes right now. So yeah

Blah.