Here iam sitting lonely, yet not weak enough to call you and betray all ive worked so hard for, to keep you away, and out of my heart & mind. and as i ponder through and through, moments come to me. the radio plays an old song, i get lost and caught. I tighten my eyes and remind myself how much i hate you, all the facts of hate come bleeding through. all your faulty acts of shame. burn me through and through. Im tired of you standing there in my doors hold everything in with a tear that escapes your eye. you tell me everything, i swallow. with the tightness in my throat i always knew youd come through, and thats when i close the dorr and i laid in bed for over two days crying and asking why. why me and why you and how could you. i loved you.