i dont feel good today. prolly because of last night. which was fucked. man. it was fun. but it was fucked. i was fucked. ahh. lmao. this whole weekend has been shitty. like totally hellishly shitty. i wish i was dead. really i do. god. dead girls dont have any pressure. dead girls are fucking dead. rotting in the ground. no homework. no boys. no family. nothing. just the fucking dirt and the maggots. and the fucking loss of hope i already have. god. i feel like fuck right now. i want to just crawl inside myself and die. it feels like i already have. i have absolutly no hope anymore. no intiative. nothing. just a great big fucking weight on my shoulders that i'm totally FUCKED. and that's all i have. no love to fucking help me. no people there to help me. no god there. just me and this fucking blinding pressure. i know i caused most of it. i fucked up alot. a hell of a lot. like with math. i totally gave up with that. i'm a fool. fucking retarded. FUCK! Of all the things I've believed in I just want to get it over with Tears form behind my eyes But I do not cry