alright, i got about 12 minutes to sum up what i am feeling. pretty much like shit. i don't want to go back to school. not at all. i depise having to wake up early, do the fucking work i don't understand, pretty i'm ok. and rush my ass off to find my bus and go home. my life is pretty boring. there's nothing in it, that spices it up every now again, just more feelings of desperation, isolation and self pity. This week has been hellish, but i haven't cut in a while, like 2 weeks almost. wow. i really miss it, but i have to get a sharper razor, or something, cuz the one i have doesn't do it anymore. i think it's dull. is that possible? to cut yourself so much the blade dullens, is dullens even a word? fuck i'm an idiot. i watched this show today called intervention, it was about a cutter. she had been cutting for 10 years, and all the while they showed her cutting herself, i thought, i wish i could cut that deep. that much. i just don't know what to do anymore. people say that somethings broken in my head. that needs to be fixed. that no one cares about fixing. i just don't understand what to do now. i just don't know how to fix things. how to make myself happy. or just sasifisted with my life. God, i'm such a fucking cliche. it makes me sick. i'm the fat loser, fucking depresso, fucking pyscho. i just don't know what to do. it's like i'm falling down this hole, and there is no end to it. there's nothing i can do to change anything. i just have to keep falling, and falling, and falling until finally, i hit that hard concrete. feel all my dreams and bones shatter at the impact of it all. So take this [razor] and sign your name across my wrists, so everyone will know who left me like this.