Things have been weird lately. i am not sure how often i can write in here since i am really lazy. lol Just because i can't believe it's summer. I have to change my ymca scheulde from weds because they want me to swim and i don't have a bathing suit, and i don't plan on buying one, or letting the guy who works there see me in one. I feel sick. Supper was disguisting. fucking microwave pizza. gross. I'm tired and cranky. i am an idioit because i said i would babysit tomorrow at 4 40. when i know my dad doesn't get off work until 5. im such a fucking ass. Father said he will get off work in time so he can drive me. and he better. i don't want to babysit! ugh ugh ugh. i hate babysitting for her because she locks me in her house. *the padlock needs a key to unlock from the inside. so i am bascially locked in. so i need to talk to her about that* and its far away from my home. man its summer i shouldn't have to worry about all this!!!!! I wish i didn't have so many responsiblites. oh well. i'm tired. i wish i could sleep all day. so i didn't have to do anything, and not worry about anything. Jesus it's getting heavy to hold all these things. crushing my shoulders. crippling my knees. i feel like i am going to puke. gross. it's because i am thinking about it. i want to disappear. its sad. i am so confused by all these emotions i haven't talked to my "best friend" for a week. Jesus this girl is a fair weather friend sometimes. i feel bad talking about her. but i went to her house and all she did was chores, it was boring. that sounds HORRIBLE ! but i mean it was because she had to get ready to go to her moms house that day, and we didn't get to do very much, it's just like ok, why am i here? i used to not like Linkin Park. but now i do, i really like their breaking the habit and numb and somewhere i belong songs. Portugal lost Euro 2004 to greece. 0-1. which sucks cuz i wanted hottie Christano Ronaldo to win. i really don't care about soccer but it makes me feel smart if i talk about it Took me forever to find a new background. i am not sure if i will keep this one. i think i am going to change my top left pic. not so sure yet. i watched a elvis movie marathon. i loved every minute of it. man i got to go i had a weird dream last night. can't quite remember it all. DREAM ---> I was looking at the sky with this girl named Kelesy and then we saw the libra constellation. it was fucked. then i was walking these kids home with this guy "i made him up in my head, you know one of those types" and i went to take a little kids hand, and he took mine. then we both got embarassed. then all of a sudden i was in this room with a bunch of people and i helped this girl bring hats upstairs, and when i came back this person said that that guy who took my hand wanted to go out with me, and i said he should ask me because i would say yes if he did. then i was in a class room and i was arguing with this bitch named cate who i do really not like in real life. anyway we were arguing because she had told my best guy friend mark (who in reality this cate bitch has a crush on) that i had said something mean to him, and i was trying to talk to him. then my friend told me to write a note to this other guy so i did and the note said "Noel(no idea where that name came from), i was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime, maybe a movie at silvercity at 10?" then the teacher took it and told me to read it out loud. then everyone laughed and my friend came up to me this this huge cut on her arm and she was crying and said "the guy you were trying to give the note to did it." then i woke up. Thats pretty fucked eh? ANY IDEAS WHAT MY DREAM MEANT?? PLEASE COMMENT!!