I only ever write in this diary during tech now, i guess because it's the most convient place **p.s i can't spell Yesterday as i was walking to go to lunch my friend i'll just call her frida(lol) wanted to talk to me. so we both went to the library. i never see frida anymore because we have different lunches, she was skipping class because she had an assignment to finish and she wanted to talk. so we get to the library, and she starts telling me all this horrible stuff that happens at her home. her mom is a drunk and her mom's sexpal is a jerk and stuff. Now frida always tells me her problems, but after they are solved barely talks to me, so i am confused. i really want to help her because she is my friend and was my friend before high school. i am just not sure how, i think we might be going to the champlin today, but she might bail, or go without me, which would be a little upsetting because i want to go with her, but i don't want her to get her heart broken because these people promise to help, but don't. thats what has happened to me, i have "someone to talk to" since i was in grade 4, all they did was pretend to care and disappear. no one can help me now. i don't trust anyone. especially mr mitch, the school social worker. he promises all these things, but never can deliver. hes full of broken promises and lies. and he tells to them with a smile, a smile that i wanted to trust. but now i know i can't. i'm alone in this world, and if that's the way it has to be,, i'm fine with it Last night i watched this movie called Contact. we had to watch it in science, but i missed the ending. it was good. a little long and kinda confusing, but good. Last night i finished up my science, but not my math. i am going to be in shit. I didn't finish it yesterday either. i mean i understand it and all, i just hate drawing graphs. i have never been the best artist, and for some reason evertime i use a ruler, the line isn't straight anyway. i have to finish it at lunch. unless i have to go with frida to the champlin. but i don't know if frida is even here, i don't see her until second. Last night i also watched this show about animals that are being abused and how there are people that save them. i almost cried at some. the stories were sad, but most of them had happy endings. I'm tired today. i can't believe its only wedsneday! is that how you spell weds? i don't know. i wish it was friday, then i could be volunteering. oh shit speaking of volunteering i have to cavanss tonight. shit shit shit. i have to do it before march is over. i wish i had of done it at the beginning of march. i just hope that it doesn't snow or rain tonight. i will go tonight at 4. i get 10 hours for doing it, when it will only take me about 2. lol yesterday i found out my brother crashed his car, i knew it was gone, but i thought he sold it when i was in alberta. and the WORST thing is, i was the ONLY family member who didn't know. i feel like it was a whole conspricy to keep me from knowing the truth. even my sister, who was kicked out last year, knew. i feel so detached from the whole family. my mom said that it was because my brother didn;t want me to think less of him, i WOULDN'T have!! i would have just been relieved he wasn't injured. it makes me sad that no one wanted to tell me. it makes me think that there might be other secrets. the only reason i found out was because my sister told me because we were in an arguement. she wanted a ride but my dad always gives her rides, and she said you and scott, and i said it's cause dad wouldn't pay the insurance so scott can drive and my sister said " no because he totalled his car when you were in alberta." so if we hadn't of had that arguement, i still would be clueless to the "family secret" Today in french we have to listen to speeches, i hope they are good, and not crappy. i hope they are interesting. I have to find out some stuff so my brother can post pictures on the net so his friends can see them, instead of email the pics to individuals, which would take forever. i told him i would do some investiagation and i will present him with some ideas. needless to say, i forgot to do my homework. some might call me careless, maybe i am, but i will do it, tonight i will. after my cavanssing. boy i have alot to do tonight. i am wearing jeans today. i hate them. i got them such a long time ago, i can't believe they still fit. last night i was looking throu my pants, and i realized i have different sizes for each pair of pants. it's weird. i need some pj pants. I might get a haircut on the weekend, as a reward because i got 3+.4+.4 on a math assignment and 25/30 and 10/10 on a french quiz. i still have to find a style. i want black tips soooo badly! I still am trying to crack my mom about the Labret, i can't read excatly were she is on the let me get it scale. maybe a 5. she told me she understands why i want to get it done sooner (because i want to be the first to get it, i want to be a leader not a follower) but she doesn't want me to get it so young, and i just wasted all me my money. MAN if i had of known my money was a pro i wouldn't have spent it! only well this only means i have to make more. I think i might get to leave this class earlier, because of speeches. so i should get some work done before i have to go.