ya that's right a new entry in the same day. I hate this heart that beats in my god damn chest. Fuck you. i hate this feeling you've given me. I barely know him and he doesn't want to know me. Fucking stupid heart. you picked the wrong one If only i could meet someone as willing to throw away their standards as i. Then i'd be sent. Fuck Those Images The Media Tends To Claim As Beautiful. It's so far from me. I know what beautiful is. I know what i am. 2 completely different things. So lie to me sweet predator. i don't care if you really love me or if you are trying to fuck me around. i'm up for anything. Are you? Tear up those magazines that depict women as perfect and ready for you to just thrust into them and dig your fingers into their perfect tanned smooth backs. The only girl you can find remotely close to what you see as beautiful is a bitch and won't touch you. something has decided for me of course. i'm not good enough to be loved. something has throw any my chances for happiness and let those feelings i have beat me up and leave me hanging. Yet I am up for anything waiting for someone to save this badly beaten and so horrendously ugly body and take me away. I see so many god damn messages telling me everything i am is everything that any guy in his right mind doesn't want. So where does that leave me? Fucked i guess. Cuz while i'm closing my eyes with the gun in my hand The guy i was meant to be with is fucking some skinny god damn whore with no mores but a somewhat fuckable body. Now I'm Left With Nothing To Wait For.