long time since i posted. sorry. lotza things have been going on. especially with the boy formally known as boyfriend. we're friends, and i don't know what's going on. he confuses the shit out of me. it's like he still likes me, but he breaks up with me, and excepts things to be the same. so, i don't know. *sigh* i got over the whole break up pretty easily. i mean, i barely cried. only when i talked to him on the phone. then talking to him pissed me off. then that turned into resentment and bitterness. then i talked to him on the phone and bascially came to a point of indifference. where i just didn't care anymore. Now, i don't know what happening. cuz he says he's still going to take me out for my birthday, and he still can make my western fair fantasy come true. and then today, i said, "i've finally come to the conclusion, we're never going to get back together" and he says, "we might take another shot at it" like, wtf. then i don't know. he makes me so mad. and i just want to cut him out of my life, but i can't. and then his sister said i could go to simple plan with her and him, but that's all the way in stratford, and i pretty much know it's not gunna work out. and jesus. i am just so confused. i hate guys. school is fast approaching. and i'm terrified. but i don't have math this semester anymore, so that's better then nothing. lol. and i know melissa and mark have my lunch, so at least i'm not alone for the whole 4 months. the pills seem to be working. and Jennifer said they might up the dosage. which would be very nice. i haven't cut in a while. not that i havent thought about it. just i haven't had the opp, or the right thing to do it with. a fucking switchblade won't even cut properly anymore. it's just cuz i'm a pussy. so my life is still just as messed up as ever. someone shoot me. then there's the family therapy. and who the hell knows what that's going to do. i'm just so, i don't know. stressed. best song ever - Polygraph Right Now - The Spill Canvas I wanna tear apart your room to see if what you say is true Darling don't you lie, lie to me I wanna break into your heart to see why you want us apart Oh, I'm scared to death to find out what you think of me