it's been too long. Alot has happened, since my last entry. biggest of all, i'm now on prozac. yup. they are putting me on that. which will help with my obsessive complusive anxiety and depression. it's also an appetiate suppressor. :) i went to meet the huge doctor and she gave me a prescribtion for it. Also, i'll continue my therapy, and then there's the self harm group. so it looks like im on the road to sanity. we'll see how long it lasts. i hope it does. but part of me doesnt. i dont know if ill be strong enough. and i always set myself up for failure Ryan and me, aren't as great. he bailed on me, and i cried alot yesterday. but then today, he says "well why don't we go on a break or something, i don't know. im holding you back and making you cry" which made things worse, and i was like "no,no" and so we talked more, and we are still going out and everything. i just told him to tell me how he feels more, send me emails to make me know hes thinking about me. so we'll see. i dont care as much that i dont really see him, but i mean, i do care, but thats not why i cry. i cry because i feel stupid and i cry because i don't know what's wrong with me. i just hope things get better. Scott went away, so it's just me and my parents. This summer is so boring. i almost wish i still had summer school. at least i had fucking stuff to do. i bailed on that big party. i dont give a shit. i have another on on weds. that i will go too. Melissa's bday. but i will be the only frenchie. but that's okay :) I got my hair cut. it's alot shorter then i thought it would be. here are some horrible pictures of it.