life sucks. it's too damn hard. i think that someone(God) probably thinks this is absolutly hilarious. like putting a mouse in water and watching it struggle to get out. and it's horrible. Some sick joke. and there's nothing we can do. if we sink, he'll pull us back up and watch us struggle again. if we keep struggle, he'll shake the water around, and make it harder. it's fucked. i hate how i was fine being friends. i want to be friends, and now i think things are going to get fucked up. why? because they always do. i broke a mirror, and cut myself again. wow, i'm cool. i calm myself down by fucking mulitaling myself. someone give me a fucking award. god i hate this. i hate how it didn't even cut deep at all. fuck fuck fuck. i hate how no matter how many ppl know, i still can't help myself. why does everything go wrong for me? how come i can't have one moment for me. one moment where i feel actually loved. where i can have that happiness they talk about in movies. that love that makes songs so pure. but i won't. i'll be by myself my whole life. because, what's there to love about me. i'm the fucking friend. the one who you talk to about that girl. that girl who makes you smile. and i'm just the girl who you tell about it. the girl you would rather tell your secerts too then kiss. and that's all i will ever be. and i will keep on loving these ppl i have no chance with. and keep on getting my heart broken. that's all for now. bitches. You're a drug, like the gun inside my mouth..I know it's wrong but i just can't spit you out