{.97.} Is This Sanity?

Feeling: longing
i guess it's officially christmas eve. even if the stupid entry date still says the 23. i't 2 in the morning, and i am sitting here, listening to Dashboard, and thinking. I am dreading christmas. it's going to be hellish, and lonely. my sister is bringing her boyfriend. my brother's girlfriend will pop by, and my parents are together. i'm such a loser. i hate this. But i know i will pretend to smile. My parents haven't even went shopping yet anyway. they are going tomorrow. they are unorganised. well, so am i. i haven't went shopping yet either. it's not like christmas is something i'm anticipating. nope. in fact i think i might just sleep through it. i slept till 2 pm today. that's why i'm not tired. it snowed a shit load today. i hate the snow. but i like the cold breeze. i like being cold. i like being so cold your numb. i want that feeling again. So i went with my dad to pick up my sister. and i ended up getting yelled at many times. i promised myself i wouldn't cut. but there is only so much someone can take. i buckled under the pain. i'm an idiot. oh well. it's not like it hurts anyone, it keeps me sane..but Is this really sanity? Or am i kidding myself? I guess it's pain that tortures this poet.
Read 18 comments
yes i made it up
[Anonymous]
hey biOzOtCh*
how have you been my ghetto*lovely?
im in school as we speak! ughh* im ganna run away from this place i dont like these people .. haha ill live with someone that wants to take me in lol uhh yeahh im ganna go now bye love
ghetto♥love

|♥|
im not really sure what to talk about what about u?

hows your day going? by the sounds of things its not going too well ..
mine isnt either ..
just because its pointless because i cant get what I really want*
I think the christmas holiday was great .. when I still believed in Santa and my mom bought everyone presents and signed them from me .. now I guess I care too much ..

merry.christmas.

x3*mEgAn
no problem!!!
[Anonymous]
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[Anonymous]
hey, you seem really cool. your diary is cool as well.:)
[Anonymous]
here i hope this shows up.

**take the space out after the ARROWS pointing to the left**

Bold
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*remember to take out both spaces after the arrows pointing to the left*
[Anonymous]
haha yeah he is. too bad hes dead,..he lives on through our hearts! hehe
Hey!
Thats cool!
Sam's rule.
Cutting yourself isn't so bad I guess, at least your not like me and use alcohol as your way of release.
Edit---
Used to use alcohol.
Anyway cool diary, blah blah blah.
Sammy
sorry, that ws my comment again

iamsharee
[Anonymous]
alright

well, i'm not sure what you meanbut

i know it's always best to just put all the bad things behind.

merry christmas
[Anonymous]
it looks like your's is working
[Anonymous]
ok videos codes : when you go to the main page of the site it gives you an option to chose from to sites depending on what is allowed on your journal. all the bottom there are to tabs that say enter you want to press the second one.
tell me if you have any trouble
hope that helps.
[Anonymous]
go to the diary htmlandgraphix and the codes are under font tricks...but be sure you take out BOTH of the spaces it tells you to, or else it wont work.
[Anonymous]
oops that was a comment from me,. sorry bout that
[Anonymous]
ok.
but who are you?
[Anonymous]