Well saturday was good. really good. i guess. lol. i met his family. they were nice, but i was really quiet like i always am. and it prolly looked like i was being snobby or whatever, and i wasnt. i was just uncomfortable around those ppl. i got new capris and 2 new shirts. :) and i got my say anything cd. which was nice. :) hmm. then there was the whole, making out hardcore, and totally getting felt up, lol, now i have a nice little hickey lol. it was weird, but nice. he was trying to be so smooth. but i just laughed. it felt like forever before he finally made his move. but now i'm so scared. like after. i bascially just laid there, and tried to figure out why the fuck he even gives a shit. i mean plastered on his wall were like all these pictures of beautiful skinny slutty woman. girls i'm never ever gonna be. so why? i always fucking do this to myself. second guess everything. i just can't see why he gives a damn about me? i'm a fool. jesus. lol. i have that meeting on thursday. which is also a month for me and him lol. so whatelse. summer school started today. i'm a fucking idiot, and so are all those bastards in my class. lol. i hope it goes by quickly. oh and THE GC CONCERT IS COMIN UP with giselle, josh, courtney(ry's sister) and of course ryan. lol. i hope it's fun. i really really do. i hate all these love songs i'm listening to lately. pisses me off. grr. grr. grr. lmfao. i only have ten dollars for ryans present. i dont even know why we're celebrating 1 month. it's not like it's that long. don't you usually wait till at least 3 months?! i don't know. lol. hmm...so...god i hope things last. wouldnt it be weird if i lost my virginity to him? considering what emma wrote on new years. *sam losses it to ryan*. i barely knew him then. but i still cared about him, cuz i talked to him on the phone and everything. he'll never admit it. but i think he liked me then. like just a little bit. i mean, he must have, cuz how can he ask me out after only one date and one meeting, if he just considered us "net pals" before?! that's right. haha. well this diary is getting tired of his name. so i'll end this entry. I love the way your whisper Slowly, softly lingers In my ear You move a little lower The world starts spinning slower Then it disappears Your lips so close, we kiss almost Just barely touch, but that's enough