Today was the worst day of my damn life. School was alright. i think i might be bi-polar or something cuz i was REALLY happy and really giddy, then all of a sudden i just flipped. i yelled and ran up to the safety of my bathroom and opened the drawer...to find..nothing. i freaked. i just went crazy. i was screaming and crying and my mom and my brother came in and were like what? what? and i was just crazy. then i got soo mad @ my mom and it was just so insane. now i'm fucked. i don't know what to do, that was the best damn razor i ever had. and all my kleanex with my pain! god, now i have to do it again. i'm fucked. im so mad. what am i going to do? what?? i am just lost. i don't know. it was the only thing that kept me sane. other then writing. but that doesnt do as much. that doesn't help as much. mostly because i am a horrible poet. and its not something that i can do right. At least when i cut. i bled. it was that simple. without that razor i can't cut right. it doesn't bleed as much as it should. God i want it back so fucking bad. what am i going to do??? omg i am so lost. im fucked. what am i going to do? i have to find another one. i have to, or i'll go psycho. i know i will.