have you ever been so sad, that all you're other emotions seem to be just be sugarcoated saddness. like your happiness is just a smile plastered and your anger is just when the saddness has gotten to be so much that it makes you want to scream. it might just be me. i feel like this extreme saddness is like a dark cloud that follows me everywhere. no matter what i do, this fucking black cloud rains on my and i'm covered in tears. nothing works. i can't cut deep enough. i can't be loved enough, hugged enough. i can't fall hard enough. i can't do anything, i'm just stuck in this world of saddness and nothing else. each move i make is another mistake. each breathe is another reason to die. i can't make myself happy anymore i can't hide this saddness anymore it's taking over and i'm stuck. I don't know what to do anymore. i'm at my wits end with this. i can't do it anymore. i can't wake up each day and make myself smile. God my friends are my god damn opposites. they can't see this fear. they can't see what might happen if i'm stuck in this place with all my skeletons, all my reminders. Are my friends changing or am i? i'm not sure. i don't know if i want to know. [i'd slit my[wrists]for you to[love]me enough]