Well. this week was shit. I hate all of my friends bascially and they are probably mad at me. it just erks me. they act like they don't even know me. i guess they don't. Anyway, They are having a party tonight and guess who's not going!? me. fuckers. had the thing after a dance, knowing i wouldn't go. Well. Giselle is the biggest disappointment of all. i told her exactly how i felt. spelled it out for her, and she acts like nothing's wrong. i want to ring her neck. Seriously. I need new friends, or maybe none at all. I'm putting pinky purple in my hair right now. i hope it looks nice. even though i have red hair, my friend(real friend) becky says it'll look good, so thats awesome. Well anyway. i want to crawl in myself and die. like imagine what it would be like if Giselle called me on sunday, (don't get excited. for a project)and my mom like say, "didn't you hear, she's dead/gone" God that would be the ulimate. i know this is cold hearted. but make her feel like shit for being a bitch lately. I wish i could get out of this fucking town. just drive away. Get hitched to the first guy willing too, and just cut off all communication with them. God what a dream. I hope this hair dye thing works out. it's starting to give me a headache. too late to turn back. I think i'm going to fail my math course, and because of what's going on with giselle, i don't care if i have to take it again next semister and not be in her drama class. Fuck, i just feel so invisible with them, and giselle is taking avantage of the whole "be there through everything" thing about best friends. Stretching the limits and just pushing me away. I met the girl Ryan likes to day, and even though i wanted to hate her i couldn't. We have alot in common. She's really nice, and i like her. But she doesn't like Ryan that way. Hopefully that doesn't change. Again that was cold hearted. But he likes her, and guess what...she's skinny! fuckers. I think the timer on this hair dye thing is going to go so, i'm done. I guess it's betrayal that tortures this poet