feeling: excited as a cover so that i can hope to get my mind off things, which isnt seeming to work woooo!! i got my digital camera last night, and i am sitting here playing with it hoping that i can figure it out without using the book, which looks about a hundred pages long (i HATE using directions, i like figuring things out by myself, but this is lookin hard...) last night i went driving around with a few friends, had a beer or two. the driver didnt, we arent stupid. is seeing blury because i drank last night or am i just going crazy? then i spent the night at kelseys house. i dont know how much of this i can take. do you think it doesnt cause me pain when you sit there and talk about how bad your life is? im not important to you, this isnt working. i see you there talking about running away and a bottle of pills because you hate her so much and i cant help you. you looked 5 feet away but i couldnt touch you because you were worlds away from me. and i swear if you come to my new years party drunk you are gonna be kicked out of my house. (or if you bring any booze whatsoever.) i guess what i really meant to say is: i cant help you, i dont know how to help you, i thought i could pull you up but you are pulling me down, this isnt working, you need someone who can help you. you cant just give up just because of her, you have to think of yourself, you have to keep going for you. you cant just ruin your life to hurt her, you have to keep going for you. i know that i cant even relate to how much pain you are in, so i am a hypocrite for telling you to keep going. i just wish that i could help you...