january 20th, 2004 cory seibert, is dead. dead from luekemia and he isnt even 20 yet. i only met him once. me and kelsey and courtney were going trick or treating last halloween, we werent going to go down that culdisac but we did. we went to a house and there was a really nice lookin guy, but he was dressed up as a french maid. so we had our laughs about that. he was a really nice person, and he had a good sense of humor. and i could tell that just from talking to him for like 10 seconds. we didnt find out until a week or so ago that the guy dressed up as a french maid was cory, getting ready for a halloween party. i didnt even know him, but here i sit, i feel so numb and cold. the world is cold. it just seems like only the good people die early. ill just remember that he is in a better place. and ill pray for his family and friends. so, here's remembering cory. rest in peace cory seibert january 20, 2004 ----------------------------- i was happy today (aside from finding out about cory). i dont know why. er, i sort of do. i dont know, ahhhh courtney asked me what i was on. she said i was acting totally different, i was walking different, talking different, EVERYTHING. kelsey, she agrees. she thinks im in love. she says she can see it in my eyes, she can see it in my face when i smile for no reason at all. of course my constant day-dreaming probably added to it. if shes right, im scared. i dont want to fall in love, i dont want to get hurt, but i do want to fall in love. it doesnt make any sense at all, and i love it. even if she is right i would deny it to my grave. its like suddenly i just have this joy of living. i love life, i want a million helpings. bring it on, i can take anything right now. gimme all ya got. im ready for it. : ) i have this small goal to get my permit before kelsey and courtney. im the younger out of hte three, by a lot, and i want a chance to feel like the oldest for like 10 seconds. *studying THE BOOK madly* im going to start working out. not only because im out of shape and i need to be able to run a mile before gym this summer, but because he told me it would help my insomnia to be worn out before i go to bed. ok, heres the deal, i made it up myself: for every hour i am on the computer, i MUST do 60 sit ups and run/walk one mile. um, thats like a TON for me. like, um, up to 360 sit ups and 6 miles a day. ill be losin weight like the dickens, and ill be able to sleep!! mwahahha jeez, i sound like a fucking i dont know what. like all ill talk about in here is going to the mall and who likes me and who i like, and no deep thoughts about is there more to life whatsoever. thats what i sound like. i dont want to be that...