you were always inside me. wow. that, kinda, hurt actually. sorry for everything. really, i am. sorry. i really don't realize how much i do until i look through old saved conversations. thats when it hits me like a bullet. bang. kapow. so. is the wound in my head or my heart? not sure. but i will assure you it has state of the art bandages. bandages as thick as a thousand walls. inside the walls my blood is boiling. no one taht doesnt read this knows. i dont think. ______________________________________ i like this shark tooth necklace. its funny. i bought it for frankie (the name shoulda been a dead giveaway) in gulf shores, then found out he had another girlfriend at the same time as me. so. nice. shoulda known from the moment that i called his house and his mom asked if i was beth. i asked him about it and there was a long silence and he was like who told you about beth? and i was like, um, yer mom. and so hes like oh.wellbethisthisspecialfriendihavewearerealcloseandshe'sbeenhavingfamilyproblemsandneedstotalktosomeonealot. thats all. i promise, i would never cheat on you baby. I love you too much for that. family problems, the classic excuse. but, of course, that was back in my naive days when i trusted him with all my heart. when i trusted myself to trust people wiht all my heart. so i didnt think about the beth thing until i was in gulf shores and i felt like partying. but at least i got a hat out of the relationship. haha. its a superman one, and i like it. and if he gets it back, its gonna be in a bag fulla ashes. it still smells like the beach. anyways, the shark tooth necklace looks better on me than it would on him. hmph. so there.