everyone is having a seance im my basement, i decided not to participate. so im up here doing nothng. it ended up being an alright party, i was just sick of always having to be the better person, always having to be the one that says oh im so sorry it was all my fault, the one that lays a bunch of compliments on the other person so that they will not be mad anymore. i cant ALWAYS be the one who sacrifices my pride. itll be alright though. hm...i bet everyone is out partying having a great time and im on my computer.... but i finally got over myself and danced, it was really fun. ill post a pic from the party. most of them are really weird, i was very bored. but this one wasnt taken by me. from the left: hunter, krista (bucketbabe18), kait (thebestofme0789), nicole (livingalie), and me. the background is my beautiful basement, and it isnt always that shitty looking, we moved all the furniture to make a dance floor. i felt bad, someone was giving me a massage but i wasnt giving one to anyone. i dont like that, if someone gives i want to give back. maybe hunter doesnt like smiling in pictures either. ___________________________ AHHH! i cant believe this insomnia!! i dont think ive had it this bad before. its 9 00 in the fucking morning, and i havnt slept a wink all night. i came up here because when i was laughing at everyone snoring and talking in their sleep it was waking poeple up and gettign on their nerves, and i dont want other people to not get sleep just because i cant. what i would like to know is, how come i cant have this bad of insomnia on nights when i have to pull all nighters for school? on those nights, i cant wait to get in bed, i fall asleep on my desk, i ache. oh well, i guess its a psychological thing. like when its there you dont want it but when it isnt you do? when you cant have it you want it more? oh well, hope you all had a good new years.