the band

by keepsondreamin on December 30th 2003, 12:00AM

Listening to: korn

Feeling: grounded

i have some things to say about this band that i am supposed to play drums in. i saw someones comment on your diary nicole, and that was not me and they are being harsh, but we really need to sit down and think about some things. *how many people in the band can read music? *how much do we know about the chords? i dont know about you guys, but my family has two guitars and i play piano and i dont know much at all. *do we realize how long it is gonna take? i have been playing piano for over 2 years and it will take a few more years for me to be good enough to play keyboards in a band. i dont know much about evanescence, but i would say that amy has been playing piano 6+ years, and probably more like 8 or more. and we would just be starting. *is it really realistic to think that we are going to want to be in this band after highschool? or that everyone will stick with it? *if i am in your band i am in kelseys band too *ok, did anyone notice that every single person in this band has a different taste in music? that is gonna cause either some really weird music or everyone except for one person being dissatisfied with the music that we would make. or everyone being dissatisfied with it becuase we dont know how to play our instruments, including my parents who would have to host every rehearsal since i would play set, which cannot easily be moved. *instruments are really expensive... *it wouldnt work out like in the movies there are a million more. maybe my dreams are shattered, maybe i have no ambition. or maybe im just down to earth. i hope you all dont like hate me now, i just needed to get that out of my system. i probably just have no ambition and im satisfied with a normal life, so sorry. love you guys. ooo0o0o00o and im single again mommy dearest suspects i was drinking...could i have spilt some and was too buzzed to realize it? god the light hurt my eyes...she said i smelt like bad things, and i said "BO?" and she said no, like bad things...fuck it,i dont care, she doesnt have proof.

Read 69 comments

yeh, this is just making me feel worse and worse

[allthethingsyouhate]

i will send you a demo cd if you would like. they aren't bad. i can send you other local cali bands that are decent to good if you want
alot of my friends are in bands and have demo c.d.s so if you want you can be extra cool and know about all these bands that i guarantee nobody will know in st.louis. and plus, you areliable to like some of them. and that way it gets them around, too

record it on a tape or something simple like that. and sing what you are most comfortable singing.

a singing drummer, THAT would be original...

[Anonymous]

have you ever heard of a band called eaves drop? it is a surprisingly good chick band

it would make me feel better

see. he likes you. he hates me

you can sing? will you record your singing and send it to me? i want to hear you sing

i understand, if i dont play for a while, i get that craving to play, just to hear the sounds...

if you record it onto your computer then you could burn it onto a cd

thats the most important part in my opinion, is having a good singer or singers, two is better than one.

i am so confused with this whole thing about mike. (that is the london boy's name, or mj)

thats what ive been told, frequently, i have a rule, if you get the same complememnt five times from different people, you should accept it as true, it makes the world a happy place.

sure he does, he is encouraging you to do well in music. he has nothing to talk to me about and i so don't interest him. so he doesn't like me, but you interest him so he likes you

he doesn't mean to, i think he thought he was being nice by telling me that stuff, not thinking it would ever come back to him.

haha. i was just reading the comments in smashingpumpkins' latest entry and it is all you and me. and we basically wrote the same thing in one of our comments. read it, i thought it was funny. he doesn'tlike me. he likes you

no, he didn't say that. but he is acting like that.

two years cello, a couple months guitar, but im a quick learner. you dont have to be able to read sheet music for guitar, exept tab, which is stupidly easy, that really wouldnt be a problem. i think its more important if you have talent than if you can learn it, which can be unfair i guess

really, i meant really, what the hell was that, i cant type, oh well

*gosh, that light hurt my eyes.

thanks ur a doll.

;)

haha, have fun with kait. wish i was there with you guys. and i am a computer hog too so no worries there. oh, i got your email, i will send those c.d.'s i will try to get two copies of ea. one for you and one for kait. or i will burn them, anyway. talk to you later and thanks for being so sweet

i thought the movie sucked, and yes clowns are annoying but there is less chance of disaster with them

oh okay. sorry . i should have waited. if you want i can resend it to the one you just wrote me on

true true. you are right. okay. i am done with that. it's just that he is repllying to you and not to me. oh well, i can't blame the kid. oh, and i sent an email to you on the address you gave me the first time, is that okay?

i grew up with clowns not underwear, for a teenage boy, that can only make it worse...

and i know smashingpumpkins hates me cos he isn't replying to my comments.

that is fine, thanks

okey dokey

haha, you are the nicest person ever. well, glad you can't hate me

i dont reakky have anyreason to be scared of the people i know, their to stupid to make accurate judgements anyways

you are welcome, but you will hate me now. i am a fucking retard. geez, the writing in my diary is white and so i thought i was being smart and copy/pasting it to a piece of paper and printing it out to add to my list of addresses and phone numbers, well when i pasted it it was white on white so i couldn't see it and so if you would be so kind as to send it to my email address unokaytoday@yahoo.com
thanks hun, i am a nut

i erased it so nobody saw it.

i love pressure, but yes, your right, of course...

hey if you want me to send you those demos email me with your address and i will send them tomorrow or something

even if you suck as long as your original, people like you ahemwhitestripesahem. excuse me.

gotcha. that sucks. did youtell anyone. i never told anyone that would do anything about it.

if my parents have forgiven me and started trusted me again after the things i have done then your parents will surely get over you coming home drunk. trust me. i have done way worse, way more often. i came home on speed one day after not talking to my mom for two days and not telling her where i was or even that i was leaving

all those questions are the things i've been thinking of. and i just got back from band practice and we did good. i have no experience in singer, our drummer doesn't' have much and our guitar has plenty(we're still look for a bass) we don't know much. have trouble gettin along. but we all really want it. so today we just kicked ass. so if u all really want to it badly and want to get somewhere u'll be great.

[dementeddreams]

there you go blame it on the guy. hehe. he won't mind, guys never do. they take the blame for everything. and parents can be so naiive, they might say you smell like it or whatever but all you have to do is look at them and say why would i do that? i'm not stupid mom/dad. give me more credit.

nonono, i meant i thought it was the airport i was at was in missouri. i didn't think it was in alabama. hehe. you are silly
i am sumb sorry i didn't explain it well the first time.

that is okay. i was just confused. cos i have had layovers in st. louis and i thought it was stlm not stla. that's all. sorry.

my mom knows i drink and smoke gritts and pot. and she lets guys in my room and i can stay at guy's houses overnight, and whatnot. well kinda. it depends on who it is. and no guys can stay here overnight.

wait, it st. louis in alabama? i thought it was in missouri. i am so fucking dumb. sorry.

my parents think likewise. and i never said anything for the same reason. yeh my mother thinks i am a druggy and a slut. so whatev.

and nobody knows that i have done that other than the guys i did it with, also the guys that raped me. and my brother knows cos he is their friend

you are NOT boring with me and it is not shit. and don't ever think that it is shit cos it isn't and neither are you. and you didn't get carried away. i would say if u were. don't worry. you are too hard on yourself. like i am one to talk, but yeh. you deserve better than how you think of and treat yourself.

did you say no? i feel horrible saying this, but if you never said no then it isn't considered rape. then it was consensual. but i understand that you could regret it like nothing else. and we are both young, notjust you. and it still wasn't your fault. not at all. it was him. he said nice things, he made you feel good. you can't blame yourself for that. and you must be skinny. you are a light weight. hehe.

and i don't think i could dream away my pain if i tried. hehe.

and it wasn't your fault, but i know how you feel. i feel the same way. except it really was my fault. that is the only difference. and it sucked, but i moved on.

i was raped too. and i don't sympathize with you. however, i do empathize withyou. and i dream, but not nearly as much as others do, or perhaps not as much as i should. i cope with my problems by facing them, until now that is. now i am running away from my problems. running all the way to england. well, whatev. and i am not intelligent. enough of that bull-cocky nonsense.

and i am a retard. i win.

that makes sense, i am sure they will understand. and to be completely honest, i never thought we would truly become a band either. so don't be so hard on yourself. shit happens, people dream, but in reality, things are harder to reach, youknow?

i forgot what time to come tomorrow....oopsies.....help...me? lol

i am so upset. i don't mean to cry, but all this time he told me how much he wanted me there with him and all this stuff and i am starting to think it was only said cos he thought i was all talk

she is not home. :(

im not sure if i can go yet, but if i can i think i might need a ride....is that a big prob? i sry i always ask ur parents for a ride, lol, tell me if i get on ur/their nerves b/c of it.

kk, lemme go get her # real quick! brb

what she says to what? i confused

coming over? disks? digi cam?

lol

hehe

nope, dickie wasn't me! lol i think it was nicole...hmmm....pics sound so fun! yay. i will bring a disk...wait....can you save them to a disk for me so i can bring them to my computer to put on here? grandpa-you-me-tonight-fun. :)

its good to sound original and have different taste. its bad to not know how to play your instruments, 5.0 at the beggining

"ooo0o0o00o and im single again"

woohoo :)

i think you are just well grounded. you are realistic, in tune with reality. so don't feel too bad about it. my friends and i had the same dream once, but i started thinking, we all did, and we had all the very same problems. well, it was hard to be the first to speak up, but once i did, i noticed we all felt the same way.
don't worry about it. they probably won't be mad at all.

i only know they use pounds. not sure what kind.

i sure will add to it after i go there. just not as often cos i will have to work like 50 hours a week atleast, for food and stuff.but yeh, we will keep in touch and stuff, so it's all good

good. i am glad it is not a silly dream. i really want you to go there one day. you can stay with me for a week or something. or longer if you want!

and i hope you don't hate me cos of the stupid mistakes i havemade suchas the drugs and what not
i don't want you to look at me differently than you did before.

hah, thanks :] yeah i deleted that entry..cause it was stupid that i just talked about my hair..i think. : i dunno. im in a mood swing. have a good day, becca :]

for sure. and i don't want this to be a silly aspiration or dream of yours. i really want you to come visit me in 3 years.

they will. and in 3 years when you get out of there come see me in london