where are you? ive grown independent, not sure if thats bad or good ....fuck. god. i fucking hate everything. i want to run away and never say goodbye. one problem. there is nowhere to go. the place i want to live doesnt exist. ________________________________ im not sure. but i know ive changed. im not becca, the girl with the brown hair and the brown eyes that is constantly worried about losing weight and her appearance. nope. its so trivial. now, i am becca, the girl who hates almost everything and everyone. the girl with a heart of stone, so why dont you leave me alone, like i wish. the girl who will be a gravekeeper when she is older to escape from other people. the girl who loves old, and nature, and only those people closest to her. the girl who only has one goal in life. i dont care if i get married, i dont care if i have friends, i dont care if i have kids, i dont care if i make money, i dont care if i suffer, i dont care if im pampered, i dont care if im famous, i dont care if im homeless. i have one goal, which is to break the barrier. sarah knows what im talking about. i want to understand, and im going to learn and learn until i understand or i die. ________________________________________ long live the walls. they are back again, you know. stronger than ever. i knew it was going to be this way. kelsey was very wrong. i have croup. well, good. im glad. im going to try to stay home tomorrow so i dont have to face any of you anyone. and so i can get better. duh. i love this. ____________________________________ take one down.....pass it around.... ;)iwish goodbyeandgoodnightandihatethisihavechills(fever)blah haha woooooooooooo my head feels like a balloon