was i wrong....? for thinking you were different? because it sure seems now like you are the same as all of them um, i want to know. did i actually do something to you? cause i'm kinda being treated like shit here. hmm. i'm trying to be gentle and understanding here, instead of the usual, oh, screw him, i don't need him anyway kind of attitude. but you are making it very hard. so, with all due respect.... screw you. i don't need you anyway. which shouldn't matter to you since its obvious you don't need me at all anyway. so what was it, like, a lie? the whole thing? guess so. another page in the scrapbook. another wounded memory dies. i embraced things today. the irish singers looked EXACTLY like people i met in orange beach who were from ireland. the bass player (i don't know what the real guys name was, the one i met) called me darlin. not as in he cared about me, but it was part of the way he talked. i think. i loved that. i kinda liked him for a lil bit until i realized i would never see him again, aside from the i dont even know how much age difference. he told me he admired my honesty and told me that if the age limit was not so low, he would ask me if i wanted to go inside the bar that i had just gotten done eating at and have a drink with him. and he looked, exactly like the bass player, although i can't imagine him dancing while singing traditional irish songs. the man with him looked exactly like his father the guitar player. and they talked exactly like the people in orange beach. so, spooky. something happened to me last night. i'm not sure yet. but i am sure it was good. it was powerful. _______________________________________ new insight. more lost secrets. get the hint??? _________________________________ beltane happens to be the 30th. i thought id try to celebrate it, with my meager knowledge of the craft. but no. i can't go back in the woods behind my house, because i most likely wont be there since both my parents will be out of town.