Dear Diary, Bah. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was thinking I was happy, but now I'm feeling all negitive... "I don't know why I'm feeling sorry for myself. I spend all my time wishin I were someone else." I'm so lost. I don't know what's right and what's wrong, I can't tell which was is up or if I'm falling flat on my face, I'm angry and happy and depressed and hyper and motivated and sleeping in till noon. maybe I'm cured, maybe I'm just buying time before I seriously lose it. "'Welcome to the real world', she said to me Condescendingly" Why does the real world have to exist? Why do people keep shoving it in my face? I just want to live in peace, and the real world doesn't allow for that. "...Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings And the drama queens" All my dreams... Well... How nice would it be to be a prom queen, depsite my prejudices against "popular people?" I hate them, but I just want to be one. I guess that's why I love the song "girl next door" so much. "I'd like to think the best of me Is still hiding Up my sleeve" I hope so. If THIS is the best of me... sigh... "...They love to tell you Stay inside the lines But something's better On the other side" It's true. They just want me to stay inside the lines, do whats expected, shut up, sit down, and be quiet. I don't want to though. I want to see if something better IS on the other side. "...I wanna run through the halls of my high school I WANNA SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS I just found out there's no such thing as the real world Just a lie you've got to rise above" high school. screaming. lies. i'm just trying to get away from the real world, even if it is a lie... "...So the good boys and girls take the so called right track" What IS the right track? what will bring me happiness? I truly don't know anymore. I don't know if I should follow the norm or if I should find my own way... For example: Sky View. I'm not happy there. But everyone tells me I won't be happy anywhere else. So I'm caught in the middle, trying to figure out what to do... And I just can't figure it out... Love, Lisa Ann P.S. You might've noticed I mentioned a song called "Girl Next Door." LISTEN TO IT!!! It's by Saving Jane. go to www.savingjane.com and click "enter" then click on "Jukebox" in the right-hand menu. It's... well... YOU'LL LOVE IT!