Dear Diary,
why do i bother, hmm?
why do i try?
i don't know what to do.
i'm lost.
i'm broken.
i don't even know who i am.
life sucks.
it isn't getting better.
i'm "happy" now, yes, but now i can see all i'm truly missing.
and there doesn't seem to be a way to obtain it.
the worst part?
no one cares.
i can try to force people to care, i can guilt people into caring momentarily, but...
no one cares.
my name is lisa. i've lost my best friend for reasons i'm not sure of. i lost my i-love-you-because-you're-in-my-ward friends when i moved. i lost my school friends when i dropped out because of depression. i lost the connection i've always had with God when i blamed him for my depression. i lost the support and care of my family when i became too difficult and actually needed them.
my name is lisa. and i am alone in the world.
Love,
Lisa Ann
"'Lord, you told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there are only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You leave me.'"
"'He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you.""
I hope you find as much comfort in that as I did, my dear friend. I love you Lisa!!! I LOVE YOU!!!