Dear Diary, a lot of not-so-cheerful entries today. i love you, everyone! so something crazy from me. i think i'm almost sort of falling for a guy i swore to hate forever. i've always known i would never ever ever like him like that--it was impossible. and then... i sent him an email, and it was a few days before he sent one back to me, and when he did... i was SO EXCITED he even told me bad news in the email, but i wrote him back immediatly and was so happy happy and didn't care that jeremy has a new girlfriend or that a good friend of mine just broke up... well, i cared, but i was still super excited to have an email from him. and i'm waiting ever so anxiously for the next one. and i'm killing myself for it. WHAT AM I DOING? i do not like this guy. i have always been so super sure that i would never like this guy. and now i keep thinking about him. a lot. and thinking what would happen if i told him i might like him... and then slapping myself for it... and then thinking it again... AGGGH! i need ice cream. the ice cream places are closed. ah! walmart isn't. i DEFINITELY need ice cream... actually. i don't want ice cream. i just want him to email me again. AAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. excuse me while i go jump off a cliff. okay, i'm back. let's talk about other, rational things. jeremy. and his new girlfriend. i calculated last night, and jeremy broke up with me four months ago, almost exactly. in that space of time, jeremy has had numerous serious crushes (from what he's told me and from what gossip i've heard), and gone on about a bajillion dates. and now he has a girlfriend. i've gone on two dates. someone is seriously messed up here. and for the first time, i'm thinking it's NOT me. (i'm only slightly messed up in this regard.) i'm getting attatchment-issue vibes, here. maybe it's just my ex-girlfriend mentality, but i don't think so. well. that's about all i have to say. i babysat someone BESIDES my nieces tonight. it was crazy. and pretty boring. but i got 12 bucks, and now words gonna spread that i babsit. that means i have to decide if i WANT to be the neighborhood babysitter or not... hm... i guess it beats not having any income. I'VE GOT TO GET THIS GUY OFF MY MIND!!! love a slightly insane, lisa ann