July 24, 2006 Dear Diary, This entry is not going to be upbeat or happy. I've had a terrible night, but I'll try to tell the good things that happened today. Today we got up at 5:45 a.m., packed up, and were on the road to Oregon by 6:30. Nine and a half boring hours later, we arrived in Oregon. We are staying in a beautiful house right on the beach with my aunt, uncle, and two cousins. I have a room to myself with an amazing view of the ocean. And there's a vanity in my room! That was exciting. But even more exciting was that the house has wireless internet! That was a good surprise. Um... then we ate dinner... hung out with fam, extended fam, and more extended fam. I finally got all my music on iTunes so I can listen to it on the laptop. Um..; I really do love the ocean. It's absolutely amazing and gorgeous and so huge. I love the feeling that I'm standing on the edge of the world... not literally, of course, but the ocean pretty much goes everywhere, so you know what I mean. It's fun. Tonight... I'm not sure how much I should say. Basically one friend told me that two of my friends think I am "selfish and self-centered" and I was dragging another friend down with guilt. Yeah... it was awful... I pretty much broke down crying and shaking and yelling... I don't know what I'm going to do... I can't believe "friends" would say that about me... I'm pretty beat. Maybe I am selfish, I don't know. I've always tried to look out for other people, to give more than I take, to help friends in need, to make people feel better. Maybe I'm not doing as good a job as I thought. If my "friends" really think I'm selfish and horrible... I think that will pretty much break me... Sorry, world. I guess I'm just not good enough for you. Love, Lisa Ann