"You say you feel like a natural person, you haven't got nothing to hide. So why do you feel imperfection cut like a sword in your side?" Under the Weather, KT Tunstall I wish I had an answer. Dear Diary, Kadee and I spent most of the day together, and it was good. I worry about her, but we had fun. We watched the OC for the first time in forever!!! Tonight we had fun. Sitting in the back of my mom's car talking and laughing and listening to my iPod. Emily is married! So strange. She's barely older than me... younger than Sarah... My nose is cold. Today was good. I got to see Kadee and a close friend. I haven't seen either in them in quite awhile. I woke up and decided to eat junk food, so that's all I ate all day. I watched the OC. I almost dyed my hair... lol. But... Okay. This is what I decided. Out of five children, I am the only one my parents expect to be perfect. I am to never make mistakes. I am never to disobey. I am never to have opinions that differ from theirs. I am never to be independent, yet I shouldn't depend on them... I want to make them proud, too... So I try to be perfect to make me happy because it makes them happy... eh... I'm too tired to think about this. It makes me tired. I just want... to not have to worry about being perfect... Love, Lisa Ann P.S. But... I do love my parents. P.S. I think I'm just feeling about five million different moods right now. So forgive me if this entry makes absolutely no sense or if it's just pathetic. Because really, feeling happy and lonely and at peace and troubled and scared and careless all at the same time... wow. You gotta cut me some slack. ;)