Dear Diary, I went to the stake dance last night. It was depressing. Partly because there weren't many of my girlfriends there. But mainly because there were a lot of guys there-- and none for me. During slow songs I watched all these guys and girls dancing together, while I sat on the side. I danced a time or two, but nothing... special... So I went my home and blasted my Kelly Clarkson and cried. I just feel like there's something wrong with me that guys don't like me. And I can't figure out what it is. The only guy who ever REALLY liked me, dumped me, and to this day I have no idea why. What about me turns guys off? Or do they just not even see me? I wish I had someone to hold. I don't know why guys seem so important to me. Of course, a lot of my life doesn't make sense. I'm getting mad at my mom a lot lately. She says that it seems like nothing she does is ever right. Well, I feel the same way. She seems to always be critizing or distrusting me. What have ever done that she should distrust me? It doesn't make sense. I didn't go to church today. Well, I went to sacrement meeting. But I didn't want to face the youth. The people who are supposed to be my friends. Sigh. It's just too hard. I miss being loved by my ward. It was wonderful... BUT apparently I didn't have ENOUGH trials, so this was added on. Sigh. Okay. Well. Here's this entry that no one cares about. Love, Lisa Ann