dear diary, i absolutely hate my life. i hate school, work, my ward. i have no way to have fun and relieve stress. i have no one to talk to, no friends. i am completely miserable. and i have no idea what to do about it. i am invisible. people at school don't even see me. i don't exist. i have no friends. the only person i ever talk to is my mother. she was gone this past week, and i think the longest conversation i had lasted five minutes. i'm so lonely. i'm so sick of being by myself. i'm so sick of struggling with depression and stress and loneliness and not having anyone to share my burdens. i'm so sick of struggling. i just want to go to sleep and never have to worry about anything again. i just want to be happy. i want my life to be the way it used to be. i want to have friends. real friends. not people i talk to for three seconds when i happen to see them. not people i do things with once every six months. not people who only kind of care about me, occasionally. but... a real friend. i don't even know what it is, but it sounds so nice. i've just got too many negative things i'm trying to deal with emotionally. everything is piling up, and i'm being buried alive under all these hard things... i hate having to struggle for each breath... i don't want to do it anymore... why me? lisa ann