Dear Diary, Ha. I quit work! Goodbye $80 a week. Oh well. I decided I'm going to babysit my nieces and nephew and I'm going to have free time and I'm going to be happy! Well. Happy-ish. I'm torn. I only like Bill as a friend. And i'm struggling desperately not to fall in love with him. Sometimes when I dream about it, I just want to look myself in the mirror and yell MISTAKE! MISTAKE! RUN! And sometimes I still dream anyway. Cassie and I sort of played today. We fought a little, but had fun. It was good, overall. We looked freaking hott, too, but there were no boys there to see us. Sadness! I miss my sister. I don't know why. But lately I've been missing her... The idea of flying east in June really was just to see NYC, but now I want to see her, too. Sometimes we get along wonderfully, and have so much fun... We used to go places all the time. At any given second we'd be running out the door to this or that store, or to see someone, or just to drive around. I do that now, but by myself. I love it, but sometimes I wish I had someone to drag along, the way she would drag me along... School is really killing me right now. I've done a lot of soul-searching (aided by my therapist and counselor), and have come to the conclusion that I don't know how to not worry. I don't know how to be less than perfect. I don't know how to not care. Somehow, these are skills I have not learned. And these are skills I'm going to need to survive school and life. All in all, I had a good day. A rare day. I had FUN babysitting my cute nieces and nephew. I had FUN watching Harry Potter, and then Rent with Cassie. I had FUN getting cute with Cassie, and then driving around. I had FUN talking to Bill. I had FUN pigging out all day and dancing to music and relaxing. I had fun today, and it was very nice. No responsibilities. Just... fun. Well. I am extremely tired. I think I'm going to go to bed and dream... Mmm. Yum. lol Love, Lisa Ann