Dear Diary, Sometimes... I wonder why I even bother. I can't even imagine that I'll ever be happy... I'm happy now, but... I mean a real happy. A lasting happy... How is one little girl supposed to figure everything out on her own? How am I ever suppposed to make something of my life? Love, Lisa Ann ---Later--- I'm just frustrated/worried/scared. My mom and I are having money issues. The issue is she doesn't like giving it to me. Which I understand. But... at the same time, I have no other source of money. I could get a job. But my worry there is that then I'll get to stressed handling a job and school. Which worries me, because if I want to move away to go to college, I'm going to have to do the job/school thing. But if I can't do it in high school, how could I do it in college? And if I can't do it in college, how will I get through college, get a good, enjoyable job, and start a successful life? Maybe it seems silly to be worrying about all of this... It's just that... I guess I don't really have any confidence in myself. I want to succeed in life so badly... I want to be independent and happy and smart... I just don't believe that I can ever be all of that... Sigh... I'll pull through this. I'll figure something out... Somehow... Love, Lisa Ann