Dear Diary, I woke up after very little sleep feeling absolutely crappy. Emotionally and physically. I tried to get a little more sleep, but finally I got up and attempted to get ready for school. But I couldn't find my make-up or my hairbrush, and basically I looked like crap and there was nothing I could do about it. On the way to school, my brother told me I was an irresponsible driver (which later he realized that I wasn't, he was just being paranoid). School sucked the first two hours. I was dead tired and incredibly cranky. In art (where I realized how truly terrible I am at drawing) I decided I was going to go home... and then I got a slip from the office saying I had a package waiting for me. Earlier I had texted Jason about how terrible I felt. I knew it was him. I got to the office and there was a pretty pink rose waiting for me. It made me so happy! I can't believe he cares enough about me---his friend---to bring me a rose to cheer me up. It was incredibly sweet. The day went much better after that. I was still a little cranky, but I thought, Hey! I have a rose. Jason is incredibly thoughtful and sweet like that. He's a great friend. Not much else to report. My brother and my nieces and I took my Grandma Lacy cake and flowers for her birthday. That was actually pretty good... Oh. Kadee highlighted my hair! You pretty much can't tell the difference. It's just a tiny bit lighter. But I like it. One other thing. I have GOT to be nicer to people. I have been such a pill lately... To my family, my friends, everyone. It's time someone slapped me in the face.... However I don't think anyone will slap me, so I'm slapping myself mentally and I will now be nice to everyone 97% of the time! (Sorry, still not perfect.) Love, Lisa Ann --Later-- About Jason. I love Jason. But not like that. Sometimes our relationship does seem kind of different. We're like best friends. I've never had a guy best friend. I mean... there's been Jeremy and Jeddi and Eric and Bill... Of course I've had (have) really good guy friends. But it's never been like this! Jason and I talk all the time about everything---and we hang out all the time. Like a lot. And I feel so COMFORTABLE with him. It's like he's my boyfriend except that we don't love each other in that way... lol Here's what I believe: Jason likes me as a friend, and he has no ulterior motives. Because he has Haleigh, I never have to wonder if he likes me as more than a friend, and I never have to wonder if I like HIM as more than a friend. It makes it all so uncomplicated. Yet, at the same time... a part of me is still afraid, still doesn't believe that it's possible. Guys aren't like that. It seems like they don't love girls as friends unless they want something from them... And it's up to the girls to figure out what that something is. It could be a more serious relationship. Or, it could be that the guy wants someone to "play" with. Whatever. But for the most part, I really do trust Jason. I trust him a lot. I am so happy that I can trust him. I know he loves Haleigh, and I know he loves me as a friend. And I feel good about that. I don't know if people really understand our relationship... today with the rose, I think I confused some people. But I need this. I need to be friends with a guy and KNOW that all he wants---and all I want---is friendship. I need to see that this is possible. Although someday... I WILL need a boyfriend. lol I don't think I've met the guy, yet, however. I'll find him eventually. Maybe... not until I'm out of high school. I thought I'd find him soon, but now I don't think I will. That was a tangent. Anyway. Love, Lisa Ann