Listening to: Sheryl Crow: If it makes you happy
Feeling: popular
the first one is newest the other ones are at lesast a week old.
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All is quiet,
All is dark,
And I am left alone.
Drowning in my own pity.
Gathering the shards of
My broken dreams
The broken glass
That cuts and ravages.
Blood flows freely
As tears
Imprints left by anger
By hate
By love
A truce will not be reached
Refusal blocks the path.
I am dropped from a ledge.
I lay hurt.... shattered...hated
All gets quiet
All gets dark
And I am left alone.
3/29/05
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Nothing
The scars are fading
But the pain’s still here.
I write these words to stop my blade
Worthless though it seems to be.
The days you say were lies,
Replay over and over in my mind.
Why do they insist on my misery?
She conceals you.
She hides what she feels from me.
Lies... I know.
I try to forget.
It’s getting easier to hate you.
Soon the day will come when
I will feel nothing at all.
3/21/05
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Stories
When you have something to say,
A story
Words to speak,
You leave things out.
I feel like I never know it all.
I want it all, the truth,
Honesty,
Your stories
May matter,
Maybe not.
But if I ask you,
Answer in entirety,
Or don’t answer,
And keep your little
Stories
To yourself.
3/14/05
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Pretending
I chuckle at their jokes,
I smile like I mean it.
We’re always giggling
And being weird.
We talk about him,
We make him nicknames.
We laugh at our disgusting minds,
And are in hysterics when we
Carry out a scheme.
I let them see the smile on the outside.
And despite that it seems I’m amused,
I’m screaming inside.
I’m remembering things,
I’m crying my heart out.
But I’d never let them know that,
So I just keep pretending.
1/22/05
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The Knife
Some things
Are like having a knife cut into me.
Fresh wounds, deep and painful.
The release was good and bad,
I scared them away.
Anymore when I am reminded,
That knife returns,
Making the scars deeper,
Reopening that wound.
Only this time, its NOT me
It’s you, and I can’t make you stop.
So these wounds will never heal.
That knife cuts deeper each time.
The pain gets worse.
And yet,
The saddest part is,
You don’t know.
And might not care anyway.
2/10/05
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If Only They Knew
If only they knew
One smile
Hides so many tears.
If only they knew
That yes
Meant no.
If only they knew,
That words
Were words
If only they knew
A laugh
Could be a cover.
If only they knew
“I love youâ€
Meant just that.
If only...
If only...
2/23/05
there will be more
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