lame day. moms car is still fucked up. we are carless right now. it is really weird for us all. went to dads house. sat in the living room w/ eric, cleaned and watched rocky horror. got the lip thing to work. helped him cut out these jewel case covers from this oldish magazine he has. i remembered on the way home that arjay is out camping this weekend, and jordan's not home anyways, but it is weird just the same. i thought her being with paul would help this... paranoia... but nope. it is just as bad as ever. judging by... things... if they do stuff again i just dont know... bad thoughts... of what to do to myself and them. it is bad. dad took us to mcdonalds. i wasnt hungry so i got a mighty kids meal. yay i got a toy. its a great little squirty gun thing. been online. still hurts to look at that picture. sometimes i hate the 4th of july weekend. it is always so goddamned noisy. i keep thinking there's a gun fight around the corner. so we're carless and pretty much chocolate less. it really sucks and is not too great for me lately.